When I went on medical leave, I felt embarrassed.
I had always taken pride in showing up.
Pride in getting the job done.
Pride in keeping up appearances.
And when that pride was stripped away, I felt lost.
But in that loss came something greater.
Clarity.
The quiet time that followed during my medical leave became one of the most transformative periods of my life, and ultimately led to the creation of Bloomin’ Bliss.
Here are five lessons I learned that changed how I view work, wellness, and self-worth.
1. You don't matter as much as you think — and that's a good thing.
Before medical leave, I believed that I was indispensable at work. Irreplaceable, even. I had to be there. If I wasn't there, things would not function. I believed this deep in my bones— I had to show up. No matter what. The wheels on the bus had to keep spinning, and who was I? I was the wheels on the bus.
Until I wasn't
After going on medical leave from work, I was replaced. Quickly.
The wheels on the bus kept turning.
This was not a bad thing; actually, it was a great thing. Not only was it good for my students, but it was also good for me. It was a lesson in humility and impermanence. This is what I learned: You are replaceable at work. You are not replaceable at home.
This first lesson humbled me — but it also opened the door to a much bigger realization about self-care.
2. Your self-care isn't selfish. It's one of the most selfless things you can do.
You know that feeling of guilt that arises when you take a moment for yourself, whether it be to make yourself a cup of tea before hitting the stack of laundry or going to a pilates class instead of immediately hitting a pile of paperwork working overtime for your job?
I lived with this guilt for years.
In the Netflix series The Crown, Queen Elizabeth is shown putting duty before pleasure time and time again. Like Queen Elizabeth, that's what I was doing.
Duty first, self-care second, or even — never.
Meditation? Maybe tomorrow.
A self-care walk? How about I pencil that in for next week?
This was my thinking. It was this delaying of my own self-care that exacerbated my health condition and ultimately led me down the path to medical leave.
I now know this: delaying self-care isn't noble. It's neglectful.
The least selfless thing I could've done when I first began to feel ill was to take care of myself and book a doctor's appointment. Had I put self-care first, I could have been there for the people that matter most.
And one of the people that matters most, is, actually, me.
3. Choose excellence over perfection
During my medical leave, I wondered to myself why I had ignored myself, why I had delayed medical attention despite my multiple symptoms worsening over a period of months. It finally dawned on me: I felt the need to be perfect.
Growing up, unless something was perfect, it wasn't good enough.
Many of us were raised in perfectionistic cultures.
In perfectionistic cultures, there's no room for failure, and no room for good enough work. The work must be flawless, or it is is unacceptable.
This need for flawlessness keeps us trapped in overwork and comparison.
We compare ourselves with others, instead of being satisfied with our own growth. There is always someone better, someone we should emulate.
We diminish our work because we can always find flaws. There is always more to be done, more to perfect.
Instead of seeking perfection—an unattainable ideal—I now seek excellence.
Defined simply: excellence is doing the very best you can with the time and the tools you have. It's showing up and giving your darndest. Because if you give more than that, you might just end up on medical leave (it's not fun as you might think!).
4. You can't control how others perceive you, so stop trying.
By nature, I'm a proud person. But medical leave really crushed this pride. And I believe that's for the best.
Before my medical leave, I didn't want to be perceived as weak. I didn't want to be perceived as ill. I didn't want to be perceived as flakey. I didn't want to be perceived as— let's face it— a "mental case."
Despite the fact that I had very legitimate health reasons for being on leave, I knew some would make assumptions about why I was away. I knew, based on past experiences with colleagues who went on medical leave, that some might say unkind things.
And I had to accept it.
I fully accept that, having gone on medical leave, some people will see me in a worse light. Some might see me as unreliable from a career standpoint. But the funny part?
Medical leave gave me the time and the space to learn not to care. Because I soon realized, the only people that matter and care are those who know and love me. They, and they alone, have the right to judge me, for they actually know me and my circumstances.
And the most important judge of my character?
That would be me.
5. Your heath is your greatest wealth.
You don’t realize how lucky you are to run until you can’t.
To sleep until you can’t.
To function until you can’t.
When my health was taken from me, I saw clearly: it had been the foundation for everything I valued — my work, my relationships, my joy.
Having so many everyday activities stripped from me during my medical leave left me with very little. I soon learned that my health had been the cornerstone of my wealth. It was the spring that fed all other parts of my life, and I had neglected it.
Of course, my medical condition was not entirely in my control, but taking care of my body: exercising, eating well, and meditating, all of these things could have helped.
A healthy body and sound mind are the greatest gifts in life. When we start to chase approval, money, or status before health, we've missed the point.
I'm grateful for a functioning body and mind, and I'm grateful I was once so sick I couldn't function.
Medical leave was a necessary wake up call in my life I didn't know I needed, and it allowed me time to fall in love with the power of meditation and bathing. At Bloomin' Bliss, every aromatherapy bath and shower is a statement: you're worth caring for.
You, and your health, matter. And those little moments of self-care? They add up.
So, these are the five lessons I take away from medical leave.
What stood out to you?
Be well,
Patricia Robson
Founder, Bloomin' Bliss Bath & Spa Works
* This article was written by a living, breathing human being. The views expressed in this article are my own and not the opinions of my employer.
